“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” — Hebrews 12:1
Well I’m finally in China and can’t help but think, “What did I just sign up for?” I’ve been here for roughly a week and told myself a thousand times, “You are only here for a year; then your butt is back in the states!” Culture shock is definitely laying dormant in my subconscious. I think. The past couple of days we had a staff retreat which was great! Highlight: playing paintball and lighting up my boss and the opposition. However, constantly, I find myself thinking this is a dream and I don’t belong here….
You ask me what is my favorite movie, and I have the hardest time deciding which Tarantino takes that honor. Pulp Fiction definitely is a contender solely because of the Jules and Vincent scenes. I was watching it the other night and this dialogue stuck out:
[If you never saw the movie, Jules (Samuel Jackson) and Vincent (John Travolta) are some gangsters that shot up an associate, Brad, for their boss, Marsellus Wallace. After killing Brad, another guy bursts out of the bathroom and unloads an entire clip on them. None of the bullets kill them. This convo occurs at breakfast after that incident ]
Jules: What is a miracle, Vincent?
Vincent: An act of G0d
Jules: What’s an act of G0d?
Vincent: When G0d makes the impossible possible. But, this morning I don’t think qualifies.
Jules: Hey Vincent don’t you see that shit don’t matter. You judging this shit the wrong way. I mean it could be G0d stopped the bullets, He changed Coke to Pepsi, found my f-in car keys. You don’t judge shit like this based on merit. Now whether or not what we experienced was an according-to-Holy miracle is insignificant. But what is significant is I felt the touch of G0d. G0d got involved.
Vincent: But why?
Jules: That’s what f-ing with me. I don’t know why, but I can’t go back to sleep.
[further along in the same conversation]
Vincent: And How long do you intend to walk the earth?
Jules: Til G0d puts me where he wants me to be.
Vincent: And what if He don’t do that?
Jules: If it takes forever then I’ll walk forever.
AMAZING RIGHT?!? Gives me chills reading that since I can see the rest of the scene playing out. I love Jules’ faith since he exemplifies how it should be when we believers walk with G0d a.k.a having a relationship with Him. I mean it ain’t about pleasing other people. It’s about what we feel, the touch of G0d, His involvement in our lives. Then Jules speaks of his dependence on Our Father placing him where He wants Jules to be even if it takes forever.
That so plainly describes my heart! Nobody can understand how much I desire to have G0d place me exactly where He wants me to be. There I know I will be bringing Him glory and in turn being fulfilled. I have SOOO many career ideas: starting my own m1nistry, auditing, sem1nary, m1nistry at a Nola khurch, some other country doing m1ssionary, running my own business, staying in China, etc… But none of it can be pursued solely off my desire. One thing my college years have taught me is away from G0d I’m dead. Together with Him, abiding in Him, and trusting Him gives a life that I…we… could never have even imagined.
Trust in the L0rd with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.” — Psalm 3:5-6
At the end of the day I need to be patient and keep trusting His timing. I’m truly here in China for the year. If you truly know me it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to turn my brain off and focus in the now. I just arrived a week ago; and here you read I’m dwelling on the plans for the years after. Don’t be like me people. In the words of Jules, “I had what alcoholics refer to as a moment of clarity.” Understand His timing is perfect. He has us placed and the duration set where we are needed or where we need to grow. I can’t help but feel a subtle fulfillment. At least I know China was part of His plan.
“You are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed — or indeed only one.” — J-man (Luke 10:41-42)
This year shall be interesting to say the least, and it’s only just began.