XXX: Restless Wayward Child

No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. — C.S. Lewis

As I sit in a Pacific Coffee shop my mind races. Puzzled on how to begin writing what is bursting at the seam to be put down on digital ink. The overwhelming thought on what exactly is the point of my desire to blog is abrupt by maybe it’s time to head back to my apartment and commence my Monday duties, THAT and Lewis’ words. They sound deep among my thoughts bringing forth this thought, “Miss what?'” Exactly. “All is counted lost and worthless compared to the Joy in Christ. Is that true for me?”

When you see the heartache among the world in different people groups brought forth from bombings, mudslides, earthquakes, shootings, etc… you can’t help but cling tightly to the desire for security. For the college student with graduation fast approaching and/or 20 something year old grinding it out in the “real” world the longing for a companion begins to prick at the conscious analyzing each interaction with the opposite gender. If that is not the case then you being the best version you truly can envision motivates you through the troughs of life, but why the longing for joy? Why the lack of contentment and restlessness in life? What if, you, a restless wayward child, need resuscitation?

I wrote before on the world’s idea of XXX and even illuminated to motivated thoughts especially my own for the consumption for that filth which you can click here: for part 1 and continuation in part 2. The following is going to tackle the desire, the restlessness, deep inside us. Pause for a minute I got to say and acknowledge, Happy 4/20! I’m hoping some high person came across this and/or you reader might be struggling with the urge to get lit, but STOP and acknowledge you looking for joy. The high lies bruh. Whether it’s weed or porn our restlessness could personally, hallelujah, it ain’t weed for me, a year and 10months free, cling to either to get satisfied. Am I’m saying just those 2 bad mother substances are the main damaging restlessness satisfiers, hell nah!For you it could be ministry, your job title, your husband or wife, kids, I don’t know that’s your personal cross to assess. For the topic at hand we going to look at porn and masturbation. See it could be said, “I got a hand on that.” *smirk* But who you kidding. The sad thing is porn viewing which leads to lusting over that girl or guy, not just a screen, has bodily, emotional, and spiritual ramifications. To name a few:

  •  Less stability to hold out and experience all what sex has to offer as a glue and oneness in the context of marriage.
  • Objectifying women as mere desire fillers or sex objects rather then created human beings purposed to be image bearers of the Creator God.
  • Lusting as a Catholic puts it is a “deadly” sin. Footnote, they ALL deadly. Even that “white lie” you just sent out in a text. That double take you did at the gas station on the fine…yeah Jesus says thinking in the mind is like committing the act and that’s with everything because He sees your heart and what you do at night when your roommates asleep next door. (Matthew 5:27-30) #gotgot

Sadly, I have been sounding too preachy, which I write out of love and that being said I currently struggle with masturbation. I know it’s quite sad because one could say, “You a worker for G. How is that possible? Don’t you realize the disgrace! What a hypocrite. Do as I say not as I do.” To that person I partially agree with ya. As a worker for G yes I totally need to stop because Christ has appointed me over people to shepherd in addition all the other soul damaging ramification sexual immorality brings God calls for obedience and turning away from those sin to Him. Now, does this mean if you not in a position of shepherding or other “worker for G” you in the clear? Or am I disqualify from being His child and my salvation over because I’m “dirty”? NAH! 1 John 2 and 1 Corinthians 6 points all childish shit gots to go. Galatians 3:10-14 salvation rest on Christ not your workings. Let ya in on a secret I have had sex before. I struggled with the fact I bought the world lies and was subdued by my fleshly desires for selfish lustful intimacy and found 2 willingly partners to indulge with and both were ultimately, not just surface level but deep in that soul, among the depths on wanting to be known and loved and secured NOT fulfilling. I knew that when I was with them, but my fleshly desires seemed the only viable option since I chose blindness. Holy Spirit walking with me teaching: my past mistakes don’t define you. His grace, Joy, and love is beyond measure and freedom we need. What I saw as mistakes He turned them for good.

Infants take to mother’s milk without knowing its mother. It is equally natural for us to see the man who helps us without seeing Christ behind him. But we must not remain babies. We must go on to recognise the real Giver. It is madness not to. Because, if we do not, we shall be relying on human beings. And that is going to let us down. The best of them will make mistakes; all of them will die. We must be thankful to all the people who have helped us, we must honour them and love them. But never, never pin your whole faith on any human being: not if he[or she] is the best and wisest in the whole world. There are lots of nice things you can do with sand: but do not try building a house on it. — C.S. Lewis

How can I write about this? How can I call for morality when yes I fail at it. Listen their some great seasons and strides I make, but ultimately I’m a sinner. On this side of life I ain’t walking on water. It’s a work in progress that He will see to completion until I’m called home. Your idea of morality outside of Jesus’ has you looking in the wrong places to fulfill your joy quota. Humans have lost the sense of where and from whom the obligation and accountability derives which is why the picture for this blog encompasses what I believe describes our moral state. We are trying to carve away and bring forth how we see this world. No matter your choice of “new age” jargon, person, object, cultural idea it ain’t bringing life to you. You know it “feels” good, but ultimately it fails to restore the life you were created for. The truth is we are spiritually dead inanimate bodies and in dire need of resuscitation. Someone outside of your abilities and wisdom needs to come in and breathe life into you. Jesus is that ‘resurrection and the life’ you desiring.

The real temptation for most of us is not complete apathy but activities that simulate meaningful action and meaningful risk without actually asking much of us or transforming much in us…The more you give yourself over to simulations, the more true authority and true vulnerability recede from your life. — Andy Crouch

NAI

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