Absurdity in Stepping Forward

Sweet are the uses of adversity, which, like a toad, though ugly and venomous, wears yet a precious jewel in its head. — Duke Senior, Shakespeare’s As like it is

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” — Joshua 1:9

I name this post, Absurdity in Stepping Forward because that WAS the main summation from my anxiety of realizing the next leg of this adventure. I mean there are thousands of cities and millions of people who never heard the name of Jesus, so why live comfort and stay when we need to be going and proclaiming the Good news? That being said I don’t process my “feelings” or emotions well. Maybe I used to when I was younger, but over time I’ve excelled at shelving this or that emotion. Anger, anxiety, resentment, pride, and maybe depression, have subtly been prominent after the shelf space reaches maximum capacity. Who the heck wants to live like that, am I right? Finally, The Holy Spirit knocked some sense into me to deal with my shelf, because I’m damaging myself and my friends and that’s no bueno.

All that being said I chose to go to love, love has a name and it’s Jesus. I mean can I get an Amen! After dealing with one of my longggg longgg list of things that cause my anxiousness, [snap], part of the weight was instantly gone. LIKE INSTANTLY. 

Steps I took:

  1. Word vomit from mind to paper (for at least 15 minutes) all of thoughts, feels, anxiousness on said topic
  2. Write out the worst possible outcome
  3. Write out a realistic outcome
  4. Ask the HS to speak Truth and reveal the lies
  5. Confess all these written words and give them away to Him
  6. Ask Him to speak if you need to hear anything on this topic
  7. Write realistic within ones circle of responsibility action steps on said topic

It took me like 49 minutes to go through my first topic. Tremendously, have reduced that processing time down to 30 or so minutes, but this processing and dealing with emotions is like a whole new way to experiencing life. On another note, to pass on some other helpful advice, bruh, it’s okay to cry. I’m told, “Crying is a release of bottled emotions. Can’t always analyze it, so best to just let it out. It’s a good release.” My mind still can’t compute crying just to cry. 

So absurdity of stepping forward…It’s not when I know who revealed this next step. He the same person who designed me before the creation of the world (Eph. 1:4) and knows all the long or short hairs on my head (Luke 12:7). I mean turn to Psalm 65 and read, “Praise is due to you, O God, in Zion, and to you shall vows be performed. O you who hear prayer, to you shall all flesh come….” Stepping forward with God is literally worth all the money and feelings of acknowledgement and even then some. Nothing really compares or even comes close in this life if you don’t have God. An obvious drawback is the familiar friendships are not the same here. Me and the band of “misfits” are part of our community as a whole but without everybody it’s not the same.

I’m a GoT fan, started pre-following Christ so investment been in-placed, and come on this last season was legit! Point being my favorite character is Tiron and he said, ” You should never believe a thing simply because you want to believe it.” Yo, I can’t exhaust your time anymore then I have already, but truth, God is real. It’s so obvious when looking at my friends on this side of the pond all from different backgrounds, saving stories, addictions, upbringings, languages, etc.. it’s a micro picture of what will be like when we around the throne room of God. God solely alone brought local and foreigner together in ways WE could have never desired. You ain’t here to view my friends day-in day-out, BUT you really think that COINCIDENCE had no author behind it?

Before I left friends planned such a lovely sending party! Food, convos, fellowship, prayers over our team, and a chance to write us notes ain’t gonna lie it is was touching and sweet. Fomo has definitely set in and it’s not even been a full week in our new city. My fam is changing along with this new season, and rather then bunkering down to ride out the storm let’s flourish and stay obedient. In Insanity of God, Nik Ripken quotes this profound truth that is helping me in a season that is ever changing, “Serving God is not a matter of location, but a matter of obedience.” How we lose that perspective often. We see the overwhelming waves, swells beating us down and while we scrambling for breath forget HE is the same everywhere and all the time. There is no “greener” pasture, hate to break it to you. 

“[God] who stills the roaring of the seas, the roaring of their waves, the tumult of the peoples, so that those who dwell at the ends of the earth are in awe at your signs.” — Psalm 65:7-8a

That’s the beauty yo!! We all encompassed in our own lives. Screaming for attention, pondering over the reasons for our lost, dealing with the injustice and unfair treatment dealt out to us or others when many of us need to stop and realize your hope is not found on this side of life. In Walking with God through Pain and Suffering, Dr. Keller would say, “..Many people find God through affliction and suffering. They find that adversity moves them out of their haunted sleep of spiritual self-sufficiency into a serous search for the divine.”

YES, it’s absurd to step forward! It’s cray, if I may be so bold to label stepping forward as, following God, and not the “normal” way. I love how you can ask anybody in America and 7/10 people would say they believe in God, yet look at their lives and it doesn’t look very different from THAT person you know living the immoral life. You claim life in God right, why you devastated when lil susie Q or john smith breaks your heart? Feeling angry at the homies, because they ain’t there when they needed most? Your hope surely shouldn’t rest on humans that being said career and money aren’t better alternatives; neither is the best version of yourself.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” — Romans 15:13

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